Parasite Shitposting - Blog Posts

Silly captain guy, take this photo of the time I possessed/bonded to a cat

I’m having a really shitty fucking day please reblog with pictures of your pets

Probably foxglove or spider irises, though blue lilies would also be acceptable.

However since I’m not part spider I’m probably (hopefully) not going to die anytime soon, though- if you are part spider, then lifespan is probably more along 47 years, so I take back that statement.

@spidey-official @reallyreallyspiderman @pavbhaji-prabhakar @brooklynsspiderman @brooklynsspiderwoman @definitelynot-peterp4rker tag all the spider-men and women of the multiverse

Wait, no, I think I’ve heard about it before! It’s what happens when you knock somebody unconscious I think. Not entirely sure though, it may also mean “death?” (Ex; sleeping with the fishies, asleep six feet under, etc etc)

Alright. It is time to go rest. I’ll talk to each and everyone one of you tomorrow and I’m creating something for a few of you. Stay updated and SLEEP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! SLEEP!

Good night!

@official-buckybarnes I gotta know how accurate this is

[The Avengers cooking skills]

Sam and Wanda: [master chef]

Bucky: [knows a few recipes]

Yelena: [can follow instructions on a box]

Carol: [made toast once]

Kate and Scott: [banned from the kitchen]

I don’t think Bucky is beating the ✨fruit✨ allegations on this one

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!

BAGELSPOTMANDUDE SHOULD GET A SYMBIOTE I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE (if I was, theoretically a symbiote, of course which I am totally not)

AGRGI GRHEHEGEGRGG

I crave violence (and also tea like some mango-lemonade or mango-strawberry popping boba tea would be really nice right now if anyone has some thanks)

Ho, damn, sorry my guy, anyways have a nice day

Last time I take gossip/news from Sam smh/silly

Bucky when are you and Sam getting married

Yeah, that’s not happening. Sam’s great and all, but I’m already married—to Natasha. Y’know, love of my life, absolute badass, red hair, deadly hands? Yeah. That one.

But hey, if you’re looking for a wedding to crash, maybe ask Sam when he’s tying the knot with whoever’s lucky enough to deal with him.