Catch the latest, cherish the timeless
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Summary: You don’t think you could ever be loved again, until Natasha comes into your life and refuses to be pushed out.
Word Count: 1,051
Warnings: Severe depression, self-hate, loneliness, isolation, heavy mental health issues and discussions, angst, and cursing.
A/N: This is just a vent fic that I wrote for myself because I’m not ok lol and I cope with fictional characters. Again- this is a vent fic, and please proceed with caution. Title is inspired by My Kind Of Woman by Mac DeMarco because I cry to his music.
You didn’t know when you realized that you were unlovable.
Maybe it was when you noticed how during your entire childhood the kids from school wouldn’t talk to you or invite you over to their birthday parties, or when you would hear their laughter in the hallways when you walked past them.
Maybe it was when everyone talked about their best friends and their plans for the weekend, but you had just decided to take on an extra shift at work to ignore the loneliness you were drowning in.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was when you were finally fucking old enough to stop being so goddamn stupid, and realize that everyone who told you that they cared or loved you was lying.
The only person who maybe could sometimes make you feel loved was Natasha.
Natasha.
She was the one person who was there for you. And you loved her for it. God, you fucking loved her so much.
But even with her support, you couldn’t drive away your depression and your isolation.
Because, unlike you, Natasha had other people. She was reunited with Yelena and spent a lot of time with her. Wanda was her best friend, and you could almost always catch them together. Even though she was your girlfriend, it didn’t feel like Natasha thought of you as her favorite person.
Because, quite frankly, no one ever did. And no one ever will. And fuck, it was the loneliest feeling in the world.
A feeling that even Natasha couldn’t and wouldn’t understand. No matter how hard she tried.
“Please baby, please. You can’t just push everyone away like this.” Natasha’s voice broke, but you couldn’t even hear it. You were huddled under your blankets, tears streaming down your face. You couldn’t listen to her.
You took a breath in when you felt the bed dip and arms wrap around your waist. “Natasha, please go away.” You whispered. You reached out for your phone and huffed in annoyance when the redhead grabbed it out of your hands.
“You’re not doing this again. I will not watch you spiral, Y/N. We all love you and support you and care. I cannot stand by and watch the love of my life do this to themself. Please, just let us-”
You felt rage bubble in your stomach, and you threw her arms off of you. “Who’s us, Nat? No really, who’s fucking us? Because as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have anyone, Natasha! I’m fucking alone, and you can never fucking understand it!”
Natasha shook her head, “Baby, please listen to me. I hear you, and I understand you-”
“Fuck!” You yelled, tears streaming down your cheek as you stood up from your bed. “No, no you don’t! You have people who love you! Yelena’s your sister, and you talk to her! Wanda’s there and-”
“Y/N, listen to me,” Natasha said firmly, grabbing onto your arms and forcing you back down onto the bed. “Do you think in the Red Room that I never felt alone?”
You went silent, unable to respond.
“I was alone my entire childhood. Actually, I don’t even think what happened to me counts as a childhood. So please fucking believe me when I tell you that I know what’s it’s like to be so fucking alone. But guess what?”
You looked up at her.
“I found a family. The Avengers. I thought I’d be doomed forever too. It’s hard to get out of that mindset, I know. But you will find people who love you, honey. I love you. Yelena loves you. Wanda loves you.”
You shook your head and tried to ignore the sobs that were rising. “No, that’s different. You were made to be lovable because you’re… you’re a good person. You’re enough, you’re worthy. And I’m not.” You couldn’t hold back your sobs anymore.
You could practically feel the redhead’s heart break from your words as she pulled you into her arms, and refused to let you out of them. “You’re so worthy. So beautiful.” Natasha whispered in your ear, gently rocking you.
“No, I’m not. I’m so alone. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t-” Natasha shushed you and turned over, spooning you close to her. “Everyone says they love me but they never really do. I’m no one’s favorite person, no one’s top priority, I just-”
Natasha shook her head once again, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “But you’re my favorite person, honey. You’re my top priority, the light of my life. I need you, okay? I care about you so, so much. And other people do, even if you can’t feel it.”
“That’s not true. So many people say that and they’re lying- you’re fucking lying!” You couldn’t contain all the pent-up emotions from the years hiding anymore. You tried to escape the redhead’s grasp but she simply held you tighter and peppered kisses on your face.
“I’m not lying. Baby, I love you so much. It breaks me to see you hurting like this, it really does. I know the other team feels the same way. We all want you to be okay, we want you to feel happy. Because if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”
You finally stopped fighting and let yourself cry. Natasha traced patterns on your back and whispered affirmations in your ear, unwilling to leave you alone, even for a moment.
“Go to sleep. I know you’re tired baby.” Natasha said in a soft tone, helping you get back under the blankets. “And when you wake up, I’ll get you some food, okay? Just rest for now, love.”
“I’m sorry, I just-”
“No. I don’t want any apologies to be spoken, okay? You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you and I’m not leaving you. No matter what you go through, I will be here. My love is unconditional, and I’m not going anywhere.”
With blurry eyes you looked up at her, “Do you promise? You promise you won’t leave me?” Your voice broke, and Natasha nodded.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
And with the redhead by your side you realized that with Natasha, you maybe had a chance.
You had a chance to feel better. To be better. Because unlike everything else in your life, Natasha stayed.
Main Taglist: @catasha @romanoffs-wallflower @wandanatvoid @marvelwomen-simp @freesloppy @alotofpockets @thewidowsghost @didujustcallmedumb @dawnoftime22 @deadcvpid @romanoffscottage @millieistheunofficialsimp @heartoreadallthequeerthingz @avengerswriter4eva @multifandomlesbianic @romanottsmaximoff @chiyongberry
Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @milfloverslut @ghostlybailiffathletestatesman @madamevirgo @proudmorning @fanfictioniseverything
Hurt/Comfort Taglist: N/A
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Summary: You find yourself in a situation you never would have imagined, and Natasha has to make a choice- will she save you or her sister?
Word Count: 1,844
Warnings: Heavy angst, angst without a happy ending, guns, descriptions of torture, descriptions murder, death, major character death, blood, stabbing, broken bones, grief, depression, self-blame, and cursing.
A/N: Here you go anon! I made this like super angsty, I guessed you might have wanted that? Sorry if this was too angsty though! This was something that was so painful to write but also I was invested in it. I would say enjoy but… read the warnings, man.
Natasha never would have thought that she would have to choose between her sister and the love of her life. You supposed she would have laughed and scoffed. This was mainly because of how smoothly her life had been going- she left the Avengers to live out her life with you, and was fitting into a society surprisingly well.
The idea that someone could simply come by and snatch up the two people she cared most for and threaten her with it- well, she couldn’t even think about it without tearing up.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened. And there was nothing Natasha could do anymore.
Your day started relatively normal. You had woken up a bit late and barely made it to work on time, but you quickly found yourself working through your workday routine. There were meetings here and there, and you worked on responding to emails.
You looked over at the clock and yawned, getting ready to pack up for the day and head home. It was roughly 5:30 PM when you started driving back to your apartment but quickly noticed a van following behind you.
At first glance, it didn’t worry you that much. You were an average person, so the idea anyone would have it out for you didn’t make much sense.
But when you went around the block to your apartment building and the car still followed you into the parking lot, you got panicky. You stopped the car and locked all the doors before reaching for your phone and dialing Natasha’s number.
“Hey, baby what’s up?” You heard the redhead ask from the other line.
You took a deep breath, “Someone’s following me, Nat. Someone in a van- they’re sitting in the parking lot and they haven’t come out yet, but I’m scared.”
Natasha paused, “Okay, don’t panic. Just drive back to the cafe, I’m about a three minute walk from there. We’ll meet up. Just drive there- Yelena works there so you should be safe.”
“No, there’s a man in a dark hoodie walking towards me, I don’t-”
The call ended.
You panicked, looking for every weapon you could possibly use when you heard a fist banging on the window. You silently prayed that Natasha would drive over and assume that you were in danger- which you most certainly were.
You screamed when the man ripped your car door completely off and grabbed your neck and arm. You tried to yell for help, but his grip was too tight, and you were quickly losing oxygen.
Your only thoughts were on Natasha- how you missed her. How it wasn’t your time to die yet. How you weren’t ready.
But then, all you felt was a sharp stinging sensation poked into your neck by a needle, and everything went black.
When you woke up, all you felt was extreme pain. Your arms hung up high by a metal chain, and you quickly noticed blood running down your wrist from how tightly the chains were. You saw a dull light and tried to figure out where you were.
As your eyes adjusted, you concluded that you were in fact in the middle of a warehouse. Deep breathes. Just think, what would Natasha do? You thought to yourself, before checking all your pockets for your phone.
No such luck. All of your personal belongings had been taken away from you.
You attempted once again to scan the room, and gasped in shock at what you saw- Yelena, in the same chains and position as you with a gag in her mouth and desperately fighting the metal that restrained her.
You fought back your urge to scream- you had to help her, and you had to help her now. You lowered your voice and whispered, “Yelena, it’s me. It’s Y/N. You have to calm down, okay?”
You could see the blonde’s eyes widen as she tried to get a good look at you. You noticed her trying to get rid of the gag with her tongue, and eventually, it fell out of her mouth. “They took us. They want to get to Natasha- they want her. They’ll kill us if we don’t-”
Yelena never got the opportunity to finish her sentence when a tall, brunette woman slapped her across the face and put the gag back in her mouth.
You felt sick just seeing the woman’s disgusting, evil smirk at the pain you both were in. “It’s nice to finally have you both here. Truly, I am. Now, I know you’re both very smart people. And I think the two of you know exactly what I want. Hm?”
You paused but nodded, “I know who you want. You want Natasha- you’ll never get her. She’s too smart- she’ll come with the Avengers and you’ll never see the light of day again!” You hissed at her- and your rage only grew when the woman simply chuckled in response.
“That’s adorable. But your little girlfriend is already on the way, my dear. When I told her that she had two hours to come here and choose who to save-”
You cut the woman off, “Choose to save? No, don’t you want her dead- you want to murder her! You’re using us as bait, why would you-”
“Listen! You do not know what happened in my past. I don’t wish to see Romanoff die. Now, that would be much too cruel. I want to see her suffer- I want to see the pain in her eyes realizing that she will be the reason one of you won’t walk out of here alive. I want her to be tortured by her guilt every day she walks on this planet.” The brunette growled at you, and you almost felt nauseous as you saw a sick smile tilt her lips.
Yelena’s face dropped, and you could hear the broken sobs racking her chest through the cloth in her mouth. You on the other hand felt painfully numb. A type of numbness feeling you’d never experienced before- it was so strong that you felt you couldn’t live with it.
“Three… two… one.”
There was a crash and Natasha came rushing in, a gun pointed straight at the woman’s head. “Let them go! They have nothing to do with us, Widow. Allow them to leave here safely and I’ll replace them.”
The woman, or Widow you supposed, just chuckled quietly and shook her head, “No Romanoff. You’re not calling the shots here anymore. You don’t get to choose- well, actually, maybe you do.” Her head tilted before she called out, “Boys! It’s ready!”
Natasha tried to rush over to Yelena, but the Widow simply pushed her right back.
You saw two men wearing all black walk into the room, and you felt the cool metal of a gun pressed firmly against your temple and a strong, muscular arm wrapped around your neck. You glanced over at Yelena, who was in the same situation as you.
“You see Romanoff, I’m not here to kill you. I’m only here to kill one of your loves here- which is up to you of course.” Widow replied, looking at her nails, seeming completely unbothered by the events that were occurring.
Natasha’s face streamed with tears and she said in a broken voice, “You can’t expect me to choose. I can’t choose between them- I love them both. I can’t-” She was cut off but Yelena’s scream when the man took a knife and firmly stabbed her thigh.
Natasha was quick to run over but Widow was faster, holding her back, “Now, now your lovely sister will be fine, Romanoff. But I have noticed you care for her, yes? I suppose Y/N can be the one to go then?”
You let out a choke when the arm around your neck tightened, and you felt your airway close. “No, leave them alone! Fucking stop, get off of me you bitch! Stop, stop!” Natasha yelled, thrashing in Widow’s arms.
You could see Natasha's eyes go back and forth, watching life slowly drain out of both of you. You had stab wounds in both of your legs, and you were choking while Yelena had both of her wrists broken.
“Stop it! Please goddamnit, stop it! I can’t, you have to stop! Kill me instead, please! Don’t make me watch them die, just fucking please!” Natasha begged in a hoarse voice, cries of agony ripping through her.
Widow tutted, “Oh you poor thing. Don’t you understand? They don’t both have to die. You can save one of them- why let them both die? Choose Romanoff. Their time will come soon.”
“No, no-” Yelena screamed with a sob when the man stabbed her in her upper right arm- “You leave my sister alone, stop!”
“Nat… please.” You begged her, your oxygen slowly running out. You saw the redhead look at you with watery eyes, and looked away, almost too ashamed to see you. “We have everything planned out… we have a future.”
“I’m sorry baby.” She let out another sob, tears violently running down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I love you so much. I’ll love you forever, baby. I’ll never forget you.”
“NO, PLEASE-”
“Yelena.” Natasha whispered quietly to Widow, and she gave a short nod of approval for the man to finally end your suffering
“You can’t, Nat, NO-”
The click of the gun went off, and the bullet ran through your skull. Natasha cried out as blood ran down your temples, and your eyes had no emotion in them.
“It’s okay, Romanoff. We can’t save them all, hm?” Widow said with a sadistic grin before looking towards the man, who still had a grip on Yelena. “It’s okay. Let Belova go with her sister.”
Yelena was quickly removed from her chains and Natasha wasted no time running over to her and grasping her in her arms.
“They’re gone- because of me! I did this, I’m a murderer- I’m a killer-” Yelena shushed her and slowly rocked her.
“No Nat. You’re not a killer, far from it. Widow didn’t give you a choice, okay? You’re a good person, Nat. Y/N understood- they loved you. They would never blame you.” Yelena grunted in pain, falling over.
Natasha gasped and helped the blonde stand, “We have to get you to a hospital, come on. Let’s go.” The redhead promptly scooped up her sister and ran to the nearest door before running into the daylight.
“It’s going to be okay, Nat. Y/N loved you. Please, understand that they will always love you.” Natasha slowly shook her head, tears forming once again in her eyes,
“I heard their voice, and it wasn’t one of forgiveness. They loved me with all their heart and I threw it away- I’ll never be able to live without them, Lena. I cannot feel happy anymore.”
“That’s not true, you don’t know-”
“It is. Without them, I’m nothing. Just an empty shell. And for what I’ve done, it’s what I deserve. I deserve this guilt, this suffering. I truly do.”
Main Taglist: @catasha @romanoffs-wallflower @wandanatvoid @marvelwomen-simp @freesloppy @alotofpockets @thewidowsghost @didujustcallmedumb @dawnoftime22 @deadcvpid @romanoffscottage @millieistheunofficialsimp @heartoreadallthequeerthingz @avengerswriter4eva @multifandomlesbianic @romanottsmaximoff @chiyongberry
Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @milfloverslut @ghostlybailiffathletestatesman @madamevirgo @proudmorning @fanfictioniseverything
Angst Taglist: N/A
pairing: bucky barnes x reader x natasha romanoff
warnings: sexual content, choking kink, threesome, explicit language, face slapping, (please be careful if you want to try this at home) and basically a bunch of other sexual stuff (MINORS DNI)
a/n: the title doesn’t really have anything to do with the story, it just popped into my head. i didn’t make natasha speak russian in this just because i feel like she hated being/speaking russian, so yeah. also so gay for tasha i love her, what i wouldn’t give to be in a relationship with her and bucky. please enjoy the story that is my tired brain spilled into text. <3
The first time you realized that you were into some interesting things was when you Bucky and Natasha were laying in your bed in your shared apartment one day watching movies. You were laying in between the two avengers on your stomach, propped up on your elbows.
Natasha had her head laid on your back and Bucky was propped up against the headboard by your feet, flesh hand on the back of your left thigh. In the movie the woman’s boyfriend cheated on her and she was confronting him about it.
She reared her hand back and slapped him across the face, and he smirked at her slowly turning his head to look at her form as she left the room. At the sound of the crack as her hand connected with his face, you couldn’t help but let out a moan that unfortunately, didn’t go unnoticed by your two lovers.
“Uh, y/n?” Bucky said as he sat up from the headboard “Was that a moan?” Natasha added as she too lifted her head to look at you with a smirk. Your face grew a bit hot as you realized that you had involuntarily moaned at the sight of a man being slapped.
“Do you” Bucky paused as a grin spread across his face “Do you have a slapping kink?” You groaned as you flopped on your face, covering your face with your hands “No? Maybe? Shut up guys” you said muffled as you felt the bed shift a bit
“Aw” Nat said from above you, you could feel her straddle you and then soft hands prying your own hands away from your face “Don’t be embarrassed baby, we’ve always known you like it rough” your face unamused as you sat up and playfully pushed the laughing redhead off of you.
“You do like to be choked babydoll, it’s not a surprise” Bucky agreed “You guys- ugh i can’t” you buried your face into a pillow as both of them laughed. You felt large hands grab your waist and turn you over, Bucky grabbed your chin as he looked at you. “It’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of sweetheart, we’re not here to judge you” he leaned down and gave you a kiss.
“He’s right y/n, and i’m sorry, i wasn’t making fun of you, i just think you’re cute when you’re embarrassed” she leaned down and kissed you in the cheek. “How rude” you said, natasha looked down at you eyebrows furrowed “what’s rude babe?” “You didn’t even kiss me on the lips” you batted your eyelashes at her and she rolled her eyes as she leaned down “you’re an idiot” she quipped and you hummed with a smile, pulling her down by the back of her neck.
The kiss quickly turned heated and you tugged her on top of you, rolling your body into hers. She spread your legs apart, settling her hips between them before trailing the kisses down your neck.
“Guess tashas got it handled huh baby?” Bucky teased you as you turned your head to look at him. You gasped as the woman bit down on the sensitive part of your neck “Want you too” you moaned and reached out for him. Bucky pressed a kiss to your forehead before Natasha rolled the two of you over.
You broke the kiss with Natasha and Bucky’s metal hand came up to grip your throat pulling your face to his for a sloppy kiss. One of your hands came up to grip his wrist, moaning in his mouth as you continued to grind your crotch into Natashas.
“Fuck” she moaned as she saw Buckys hand wrap around your throat. Bucky pulled away smirking as you panted “you like that baby?” He looked down at her flushed face. The redhead grunted “love when she’s so submissive”
You whined as Natasha gripped your hips, turning you over so you two were on your sides facing each other. She ran a hand down your chest to your shorts, her fingertips just barely grazed your skin underneath the band of your shorts before she stopped.
She turned her head and smirked “you wanna watch buck?” The man let his eyes wander from his other girlfriend to your squirming form “please tasha, want you to touch me” you begged. Natashas attention turned back to you and she cooed “Tell Bucky that you want him to watch me touch you sweetheart, go on”
She slid her hand farther down your shorts, fingertips just above your clit “Want you to watch her make me cum james” you panted. “You’re so pretty when you beg, doll” he said just before natasha brought her hand down and began rubbing your clit, your moans echoing throughout the room as Bucky and Natasha spurred you on
“Such a good girl babydoll”
“Your pussy feels so good around my fingers honey”
“That’s it, tell us how good it feels y/n”
Natasha rubbed your clit faster as you began to withe beside her. “Gonna cum tash, please, please let me cum”
She had sat up by now, making your pleasure her top priority. She grabbed your chin roughly and forced you to look at Bucky, cock in hand, sweat dripping down his body as he watched Natasha work your pussy over.
“I want you to look at him when you cum, baby” she demanded. You felt your back arch off the bed as your orgasm washed over you and Bucky never broke eye contact with you. You could see his eyes darken as you came all over natashas hand, fighting to keep your eyes open as you watched him work his cock even faster.
Bucky threw his head back and groaned and you both could tell he was getting close by the way his cock twitched in his hand. You kissed Natasha leading her and yourself over to Bucky and you took his cock in your mouth. Bucky let out a loud “fuck!” At the feeling of your warm mouth wrapped around him.
Bucky raised his hand slightly and tapped your cheek a few times, and you nodded the best you could. “Are you sure?” He asked, still a little conflicted, you pulled yourself off of his shaft “I'm sure buck” and leaned up to kiss him before going back down.
The next thing you knew Bucky's flesh hand had come down across your cheek with a small crack! You moaned around his cock at the stinging feeling on your face, and your eyes fluttered close at the tingling following through your body.
You pulled off of Bucky's cock once again, pumping him a bit with your hand “harder” you said as you panted for air. Natasha groaned from behind you, watching as Bucky's hand came down a second time, this time hard enough to leave a glowing red mark “God you’re so fucking sexy sweetheart”
Soon you heard Bucky's groans get muffled and you saw that Natasha had pulled Bucky into a kiss, you felt yourself get wet all over again at the sight of your boyfriend and girlfriend kissing and you began to suck him a little faster. Buckys hand came down to wrap in your hair as he began to snap his hips back and forth, fucking your mouth.
You felt his cock twitch and he let out a low moan “fuck girls” he said before you felt his warm salty cum spill into your mouth. You swallowed around him and his hips sputtered, you pulled off of his cock and pulled Natasha down to your level “want a taste?” You asked before pulling her into a kiss, you felt some of Bucky's cum drip into her mouth and she moaned at the taste.
“Goddamn doll” Bucky groaned from above you and you smiled as you pulled away from her mouth to look up at him. Your attention turned back to Natasha, Buckys too. “It’s your turn honey” you said as you and Bucky pushed her back into the pillows. “I could get used to this” she smirked as she snuggled back, getting comfortable.
You shook your head at her and Bucky chuckled before kissing his way down her stomach. Her mouth turned into a beautiful ‘o’ shape as she felt Bucky's fingers run across her pussy. You leaned down to lay on your side beside her and started kissing her neck, hands running over her chest, gripping and tugging the hard nipples there.
“Damnit barnes” she groaned as Bucky teased her, pressing kisses just above her clit “what’s the matter doll? Can’t handle it?” He smirked. You hummed in amusement as you trailed down kisses to her chest, you figured Bucky tired himself out of teasing because a second later you could hear the sound of his tongue lapping at her pussy.
Natashas back arched as Bucky continued to lick and suck, her hand going around the back of your neck and pulling you down into a very sloppy kiss as she moaned into your mouth. “Feel good tasha?” You whispered against her lips “fuck yes!” She yelled out as Bucky quickened the pace. You cooed at her as you ran your hand down her body, Bucky tilting his head to give you some room.
You spit on yours fingers, getting them wet before easing them into her wet pussy, groaning at her clenching around your fingers. You could feel her cunt relax as you worked your fingers, pumping them in and out while Bucky sucked on her clit. “Oh god” she moaned, her hand flying down to grip Bucky’s hair as she rolled her hips into his face.
You and Bucky both could feel her start to get close as she started to whine underneath you two “you gonna cum on y/n’s fingers doll? Bucky panted, rubbing at her clit. “God yes, wanna cum, fucking hell” you worked your fingers faster “you’re so pretty when you’re all flushed baby” you said as you looked her body up and down, a thin layer of sweat covering her.
Bucky sucked her clit into his mouth and Natasha came undone, her back arched letting out a loud moan as she grabbed at the sheets while you and Bucky worked her through her orgasm. You could feel her cum gushing over your fingers as you continued to pump them in and out. “Oh god” she moaned as she gasped for air.
You pulled your fingers out and Bucky wiped his mouth. You held up your fingers to him “wanna taste?” You repeated what you said earlier, he smirked and grabbed your wrist popping them into his mouth. You watched with amused eyes as he sucked on your digits.
He pulled back and smiled “c’mere babydoll, I know you wanna taste too” Bucky pulled you in by the waist and pressed your lips together, his tongue swiping in your mouth. You moaned at the taste of your girlfriend on his tongue, pressing your hand to Bucky's cheek. “You two are insatiable” Natasha teased. You and Bucky pulled apart laughing and laid down on either side of her, pulling the sheets over you three.
“I can’t help that you taste so good babe” you nudged her cheek with your nose. “She’s got you there doll” Bucky laughed. “I hate you” she grumbled, you curled into her side as Bucky wrapped an arm around her “you love us” you retorted. She sighed.
“Unfortunately”