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Dr Doofenshmirtz - Blog Posts
Apparently Target is rethinking being anti DEI because foot traffic in their stores has been declining for like 10 weeks straight and their stock has been dropping in unison and listen, I know a lot of this is probably because consumer spending goes down in general when the economy is unstable (tarrifs, mass federal gov layoffs etc.) but I think we should just keep running boycotts of different brands to convince them that they only make money when they're woke. I know we dunked on rainbow capitalism because it was cornball and performative but I don't even give a shit. These companies shouldn't be able to be openly pro-Trump and expect us to ignore it. They should not be allowed to bend the knee to racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, abelist, generally bigoted culture war bullshit without taking a hit to their bottom line. These billionaire dipshits wanted unfettered capitalism with a madman at the helm and they should not be allowed to enable that without feeling some of the hurt along with the rest of us. Make these corporate assholes think money is stored in the woke
What if the reason doof became evil again isn’t something funny like wanting to fight Perry. But because he learned that Perry would be relocated because he didn’t have a nemesis. And doof knew Perry would be sad about this so he quickly went of social media and posted he was evil again so Perry could stay.
Last night I was trying to go to bed before my third eye opened and realized cavenpuss has four dads, doof made him, Dakota is the reason he was made, and Perry and cavendish’s dna was used to make him, so the qeustion stands what would their ship name be
I can’t wait for when Trump dies in the next three years because of the tumblr sexy man poll of 2028
the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk
Doof: "You see Perry The Platypus, about a few weeks ago I entered The Tumblr Sexyman Showdown. It's a contest for only the sexiest of men-- now now, Perry the Platypus, before you roll your eyes at me, it's not the conventional kind of sexy, no, no! It's the pathetic, the silly, the unconventional! Only for the acquired tastes. Like me~!! So I joined in, and you wouldn't believe it! I plowed through the competition! Bracket after bracket, I dominated the votes. That is, until the final round... when I was put up against Stanley Pines of someplace called 'Gravity Falls'-- for some reason, even though he claimed to come from a place called Gravity Falls and I come from the Tri-State Area, the competition listed me to come from someplace called 'Phineas and Ferb', and I have no idea where that is or who those people are--I was kicked to the curb! He won by a landslide! Well, not literally though, that's a metaphor--that's how Bill Cipher won against Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, and I KNOW that place doesn't exist--b-but anyway, Stanley won and I only got second. And it doesn't make any sense! Sure, Stanley is similar to what the true Sexyman is, but he's not the greatest! For one thing, he's not that pathetic--jeez, if anyone is the most pathetic here, it's me! He's not that tragic-backstory-able, or anything, he--and worse yet, he's HOT! I mean, he's not that much of an acquired taste! Sure, he's older, but that's it!! Clearly, the people are biased! Which is why I made...THIS!"
Doof: "BEHOLD! THE UNHANDSOME-INATOR!!!!"
Doof: "With this, I can make anyone ugly--so ugly that their ugliness is JUUUST too ugly to be a Tumblr Sexyman! But too handsome to be truly ugly...and I can also tweak it to make myself just a little more handsome, hehe! With this, I will make the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA Sexyman ugly, and shoot myself so I will be the most acquired-taste-handsome out of all of them, winning the love of all of the TRI-STATE AREA, AND ENACTING MY REVENGE AGAINST THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN CONTEST!!!"
Doof: "--Or wait, come to think of it, this isn't really revenge, I mean, the contest's over and it won't come back until next year so this scheme prooobably should've been postponed until then... not to mention this inator isn't exactly that tweaked, it's a rushed job has some...ahaha...side effects...unless I CRANK UP THE RANGE OF THE INATOR!"
Doof: "Yes, Perry The Platypus, I will become the most tumblr-sexyman handsome by proxy in all of the tri-state area AND GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON!!!"
| Meanwhile In Gravity Falls |
*Stan, reading the paper, suddenly looks up.*
Stan: "Something just happened."
*beat*
Stan: "...Eh. Who cares. Worse has happened in this town. It's probably the heebie jeebies from that German guy from a couple days ago, eugh."
Stan: "Worth it for the prize money, though. I'm still the sexiest man on all of Tumblr! Ahaha!"
*beat*
Stan, still grinning: "...whatever that is."
*A beat. Then the door to the Mystery Shack slams open. It's Ford.*
Ford: "Stanley! I'm back!"
Stanley: "Hey, sixer. Back from another one of your little adventures?"
Ford: "I suppose you could call it that! Ever been to the tri-state area? There are hundreds of anomalies there! Did you know that all the platypuses are teal there?"
Stanley: "Yeah, yeah...well, make sure to tell me later. I'm reading the paper."
Ford: "Well, don't get too absorbed. We're going to Italy tomorrow, remember? We're visiting the Vatican! Lots of great things to explore there! We might even see the pope!"
Brain: Greetings. i am The Brain, and this is my assistant, Pinky.
Pinky: *waves* Narf!
Brain: We are two lab mice attempting to take over the world and we invite you to join us in our conquests. Do you accept?
Dr Doofenshmirtz: ... Put these hats on first.
Pinky: Ooo! A fedora! How stylish~ Zort!
Brain: ... Why, may I ask?
Dr Doofenshmirtz: The hats make it feel like I’m with my nemesis, Perry the Platypus.
Brain: Your nemesis is a... platyus? *turns to Pinky* I’m not sure if this is the best partner for us, Pinky.
Pinky: Why not, Brain? He has so many fun fun silly willy inventions to play with! Like this one with all the lights and colors! Naaaaarrrf~ I wonder what this button does!
Doof: NO NO! DON’T TOUCH THAT SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON!
BANG!
Brain: You... you had a self destruct button on your machine?
Doof: Of course! That was the Self-Destruct-Inator!
Brain:...
Doof: ...
Brain: ... We’ve decided to go in another direction.
Hi what the fuck
“You see Perry the Platypus, since mostly everyone agrees that the world is hers, if I manage to imitate a fraction of that power then surely a fraction of the world would belong to me! Aka the Tri-State Area. Which is why I invented this. Behold! The Miku Miku Beam-inator! Catchy name don’t you think?”
Yknow, as the great evil genius that is I (“I” referring to moi, Ivo Robotnik (yes I know French)), I’m gonna step down from world ending creations to Dr. Doofenshmirtz levels of shenanigans.
don’t like that? BAM ray gun that keeps your shoestrings permanently tied together
Have fun walking now loser
Hello please consider
Hatsune Miku is God, and Obi-Wan Kenobi is Jeusu Christ and that means that Hatsune Miku put little fetus Obi-Wan inside of a virgin MatPats tummy and Springtrap will be Joseph. Also Lin Manuel-Miranda is The Archangel Gabriel and Sans is Moses and he split the red sea and the twelve tf2 characters will be the twelve apostles (Scout, Spy, Heavy, Sniper, Demoman, Engineer, Medic, Soldier, Pyro, Miss Pauling, The Administrator, Merasmus (Merasmus is Judas)) and Dr. Doofenschmirtz is Satan
listen listen dr Doofenshmirtz is really the smart scientist here BECAUSE of his self-destruct buttons!! like come on mate if certain inators in today's world had one a those bad boys we'd all be in much better shape, dr D knew something
perryshmirtz art trade with @boo-topia !!
Actually, I haven’t seen the MML episode with professional time yet…;) Thank you for doing art trade with me! Your paintings are always so lovely.
DOOF FOR TUMBLR SEXYMAN 2025 BABY!!!
I now know that google’s generative AI is not, in fact a Phineas and Ferb stan… is it weird to say I’m disappointed???
No one in their right mind can convince me that in the latest Chibiverse episode Perry wasn’t going to say he had feelings for Doof before he was cut off. No one! Not a single person can change that assumption unless the writers disprove it! I WILL TAKE THAT TO MY GRAVE!!!
*Dr Doofenshmirtz Voice*- A Crocodile?
*Dr Doofenshmirtz*- LOKI THE CROCODILE!!??
I swear to god I’m going insane. I can’t find the episode where perry the platypus was stuck inside a cat statue and was rolled around by dr. Doofenshmirtz for that episode. Because I need proof that there was an episode like that and I didn’t name my cat perry for nothing
Spin a wheel to be assigned someone!
day 13: stacy (sorry it’s late i’ve been super busy)
@howtonerdoutovereverything
how i think owca agent stacy’s first mission against dr doofenshmirtz went:
@howtonerdoutovereverything
day 7: tropes
my favorite pnf trope, with my favorite plot trope
been super busy, so combined day 4 (driver’s license), 5 (dry), and 6 (doofenshmirtz) into one drawing for @howtonerdoutovereverything’s pnf revival challenge
day #3 of the pnfrevival challenge: appetite
@howtonerdoutovereverything
she bonka on my kwonk til i *perry the platypus noise*
Okay, it seems when we do a Tumblr sexyman tournament, the winner takes the power of the rest and, in turn, sends it to our world where someone ends up dying.
Said person who died, seems to be judged neither by morality, but by status, with the recipients being a queen and a pope. We’re 2 for 2, not a lot, but the pattern is there.
I think we can weaponize this. Let’s make more sexyman polls at an increased rate and hope that this probable Death Note hits our more problematic people like our president and the tech idiot.
We'll eventually hit them if we throw enough shots at their direction, so let’s see the hell we can raise with our Blorbos.
It could be worse. It could be a panda in a fedora
Okay but imagine your nemesis being a platypus in a fedora
Can't stop Doofenshmirtz while covered in dirt
Perry the Cleanpus
Rare gif of Cas chosing Dean instead of heaven.
Agent P is joining Mishapocalypse 3.0.